old spain

So, this is Spain. When my parents went in the mid-80s. I was one and a half- left all on my lonesome in Charleston. humh... probably NOT on my lonesome... but still in Charleston.
I think these pictures are just classics! So old and capturing of a moment. Fantastic! Hope you enjoy- even though you dont know Ranne or Burke. ;)

odd tho'ts

i've been feeling strange lately. not homesick nor sad about where i am. i guess i am just getting anxious and unsettled. i've been realizing that i have been here [CLEMSON] a year and that i am going to be here for another year and a half before i move on somewhere else. i dont know what it is in me that has this urge to keep moving and changing and developing.

i hate it. change. but do i? do i say that cause everyone else does? its so freeing- a chance to start new and fresh and to develop into some new creature.

but- what i dont understand is the pain. am i a pain junkie? not in a cutter style- but in a self-sacrificing "life is so hard" style. i dont think so. i hate inconveniencing people. so what is it? why can i not be happy in one place for a long period of time?

the thing is- i KNOW i will miss these days at clemson- having my friends over for dinner, for movies, for sports games, for beer pong. i'll miss sliding down the dam, taking the CAT bus around campus, pinching quarters to buy a coffee to get me through the day, tailgating at 8 in the morning for a 7 PM football game, staying up until 2 AM talking with my roommates--only to get up four hours later for muldrow study hour! i miss it now, just writing about it.

then why do i miss scotland so much? why do i want to return now? why do i want to figure out my grad school plans so that i can dream in that direction? God is bound to change them anyhow.

why am i questioning my life- i should be studying for my african geography quiz.

VWs for $1.00

Central, SC

a reunion of sorts for the VW fans in the Upstate of South Carolina
bizarre site during an afternoon graveyard visit.

nuit.

its sunday evening--
ninish.
most people i know are either watching the new family guy or are studying for the first set of exams. not me. i am thinking at "ninish" this night.

its sunday evening--
and the cleaning didnt get done.
the trash can is overflowing with scraps from the week. the glass in the bathroom is sprayed with white residue from my teethbrushing. the carpet in my bedroom is covered in long blond hair- curly and straight, depending on the day it left my head. the pile of laundry is attrociously overflowing into my designated "shoe space."

its sunday evening--
no study has been done.
luke and john are unread. nell and drostan are waiting for me to write their lives into existence. my communications paper is currently a "Ctrl + N" document [ie- a blank page]. segu sits on my shelf undiscovered. mungo park awaits me.

its sunday evening--
and the errands have not been run.
there is no food in the cupboard. the pictures are sitting at walmart waiting to be picked up. the apples are lonely on their pantry shelf with no accompanying food. the empty containers of my consumption are being compressed into smaller waste as we speak.

its sunday evening--
and its not all my fault.
our washer and dryer are broken. my brothers came in town for the weekend to distract me. the bed was calling me all afternoon. my mind is thinking- it cant study as well.

-so- like i said-

its sunday evening--
and i wonder if it even matters.
the current picture on my desktop is of a black man standing in an old suit with a red tie and a nice hat. he has a cane. he is positioned slightly right of center. the rest of the background is a white concrete block setting. very bright and stark for a desktop background. it gives me a headache to look at. but as the man stands there, sort of slumped over with age, i cant help but wonder if he had lists of things to fulfill through his life-- and is that what made him slump? does it matter that the toilets arent cleaned for another day? does it matter that i forgot to go to the grocery store? why is today the day it all must be done/ solved/ fulfilled/ answered?

its sunday evening--
perhaps it'll matter tomorrow.

Mr. and Mrs. James Hamilton

I LOVE SCOTTISH WEDDINGS!!!
maybe its the kilts. or the accents. or the bagpipes. or the delay for the bride. or the ceilidh dancing. but all in all... I LOVE THEM!

The bride is expected to arrive to the church late. [we left the house at the time the wedding was supposed to begin.] The service is one of worship to the King. [we sang the oh-so-amazing In Christ Alone.] The pictures are taken at gardens and are allotted a good 2-3 hours for them- so no rush. [we went to the Botanical Gardens- gorgeous.] The dinner is for a select group of people- usually the bridal party and family. Similar to the American rehearsal dinner. [my table was a rowdy crew- what do they expect putting the Bells, Morrisons, Hammeses, and Mackies at the same table?!] The ceilidh begins about an hour after the dinner and speeches are complete. [we chilled at the bar.] The ceilidh was PHENOMINAL! [i danced nearly every dance with everyone i wanted- and didnt want- to dance with. whats a few bruises to sacrifice for the amazing fun of a good Cumberland Square Eight or a fast-paced Arcadian Strip the Willow?!]
They are SO much more relaxed and laid back than American weddings. Plus- all the guys wear kilts or at least dress super smart. and all the old ladies wear hats! its dead classy! I am IN LOVE with an institution. Enjoy the pics.

Magdalene Green

it was a day of relaxation and peace. it reminded me of why i love scotland and why i miss it in moments of silence.