myrtle beach bliss

my habitat for the week
Morning coffee on the balcony
Before dinner:
Brandon in Georgetown:
They will eat you
Feed the Birds

On the Harborwalk:
Room with a View:

redneck yacht club

Charlestonians have quite a few quirks. One is particular to boaters: parking at sandbars. Last Saturday, Roman, Jenny, Mum, Rutledge, Buckley, Andrew, Brandon and I went out on the river in Rome's boat. After playing on an island beach for a few hours, more boats arrived with loud, horribly obnoxious music, so we decided to move on to a new destination: the sandbar. We anchored the boat and waited for the tide to go out. We sat in waist deep water, standing [and, in Brandon's case, slipping] on pluff mud, drinking beer, throwing footballs and mudballs, and eventually sitting on floats and in beach chairs. It was so fun and rather, lets be honest, redneck! We were not alone in this venture. Before we knew it, ten or so boats had also pulled up to the sandbar to enjoy the shallow river water. I can only imagine what my northern boyfriend thought about such a practice.

never thought they'd mean everything to me

i am leaving charleston in two weeks. it has been a glorious month of playing with friends and family. a wonderful vacation after too much school and too much work and too much stress. i have slept, read a huge book, bummed on the beach, went shopping, watched a ton of sports, painted and decorated and shopped more, missed friends, blogged to Aileen, had long phone conversations, talked on AIM with Stu and Kate, caught up with emails, drank coffee, drank more beer with my brothers, had girl sleep overs, taken pictures, dreamed big dreams, recovered chairs, had lunch dates, enjoyed my old church weekly, played on the beach again and again, went to concerts, played frisbee on "drift concrete," had parties for lil bro and dad, watched tiger dominate once again, watched miami beat florida state in baseball, watch euro 2008- HUP HOLLAND HUP!!


i will miss this place. it will forever be my home, no matter where i move to. and i will miss my family- though they dont think i will. but i have many places to live in and much to learn before i can enjoy Charleston fully. doesnt mean i wont visit and doesnt mean i wont be homesick. im homesick just thinking about leaving. but its what i need to do right now. if i dont leave now, i may never be able to. its no small thing to leave one's home. its like leaving pieces of yourself in different locations all over the world. why am i called to travel so? will i break apart and shatter so there is nothing left?

it hurts.

"i ran for miles, just to see what i was made of"

do you ever have time where you realize you are not as durable as you thought you were? where you find out you are not really the tough, enduring, strong person you made yourself out to be? i do that all the time. i constantly let myself down and get frustrated with how i treat people, in my response to circumstances, with choices i make that are less than wise. even if i tried to run for miles, i would be disappointed because i'd last ten minutes, get bored, and give up.

so then how am i supposed to live with myself if i am constantly surprised and let down by ME, the person I should know the best?

i have been making concerted efforts this week to be happy and to enjoy the moments of every day- to just be and to love every moment of it. i have tried to be positive and to find joy in the small moments throughout the day. i have a lot of great things going for me, and i am so very blessed. my friends are all positive people who i love being around because their love and expressions are worthy of envy. i have always hoped some of it will rub off on me. that was foolish. i have to do it myself.

all that being said, i am moving back to Clemson. its a long, elaborate, emotional story. maybe we'll grab coffee one day and i can share with you.

my weekend...

My weekend was wonderful! Here is what I did, recapped in a conversation with Stu:

boingcc: what a cute bf you have
boingcc: at church picnics
starofelendil1 : oh i know
starofelendil1 : he is so much more tame than i am
starofelendil1 : i go "booty dancing" and hes at a church function
boingcc :haha.... wild claire
boingcc : brandon has the heart of a lion
starofelendil1 : yes... he is... ferocious
boingcc : and witty like a parrot
boingcc (2:12:56 PM): efficent as ants

Actually, that is my boyfriend recapped in a conversation with Stu. My weekend involved beaches, high heels, dancing, sleeping [finally!], Firefly!, and good good friends!

Aileen and I before the dance floor called our name

Brit and Aileen enjoying Charleston's own, Firefly

Looks like rain, reality is sweat

Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
-Yeats

i was crazy

i am aware of the awful colors of my blog lately. i was playing with them exam week and got interrupted. somehow, i never changed them back. but i like the new set- its like a clean, fresh slate... just like my life.
i have been taking some time for myself these last few weeks. time to internalize the experiences of college and the implications of graduation. time to enjoy my family, however often they let me down. time to write thank you notes and to attempt to acclamate to the humidity. its been interesting and though its only been three weeks since graduation, i have learned a lot about myself. but that will be revealed slowly through more updated blogs, i hope.
but thats me for tonight... short and sweet... i have not had much to say lately cause im thinking...