a hope. a promise. a story.

Tonight, I went with Kelly, Jana and Marie to Radius in Greenville (Missed you, Nichole!). Odd, I know, for members of one church to go off visiting another church. But they are doing a series on Femininity/ Masculinity: the Image of God. It is powerful stuff and this seemed to be a great opportunity for a Paloma girls night out.

The experience gave me hope for my upcoming move to Charleston. I have been at dcf over 4 years now. Because of a transitory childhood, it would be safe to say this is one of the longest stints of same-church-attendance since I turned 13. It is nice to be known. It is nice to be trusted. It is nice to be in a position to serve my church. This is bound to change with our move south. We will church-hunt. We will pray. We will visit. And we will attend where the Lord calls us. And wherever that is, He will have a plan for us. But experience tells me that I will not be known, trusted, nor in a position to serve right away. Certainly this will be a time to learn again the rotation of lead-follow and a time to listen to the Lord's movements in our hearts in a new environment and in a new community.

And so, my hope comes in two-fold. I entered a church in which I knew no one and I found the presence of God there and I worshiped with strangers. And I was encouraged for the need of community during and after this move. Genesis 2 was revealed to me in a new light tonight. When God created the world and every little microscopic thing in it, He said it was good. Until He saw Adam alone. My entire life, I interpreted this as "it is not good to be alone, as in single. we should all be married." Now that I pause and think about this in light of what else I know of Scripture, its a preposterous thought! It was not good for man to be alone- by himself-with no one else- independent. The first creation "not good" moment is the moment when God sees that being alone is bad. And so God, the loving, ever-providing Father, reaches down and creates another being. For the two to multiply and for them to have community.

The Story being told on this earth about our God and how He is redeeming His world is a story of US. It is not a story of me, alone. Nor is it a story of me and Brandon. It is a story of us. And in this telling, the Loys will go to the next stage for new encounters with Charleston-based people. But our part in the story here is still a part of the Story. And our hearts, for having been and lived and loved here, will remain here wrapped in the Clemson-based story even as they move on to another geography.

The Holy Spirit whispered to my heart tonight, "Seek community with my followers. You will find it." The Lord will surely give me rest in this as Brandon and I search for our community, our calling, our place and our home in the County of Charleston.

Thank you for the promise, Lord.

an invasion!

In my research for Dr. Burns, I had to review seven bound journals of newspapers from 1928 India. The Newspaper was called The Times of India. It was enormous- the book was so heavy that after carrying it from the interlibrary loan office back to my table, I was out of breathe- and so large that it filled a greater surface area than my large study table. It took me 10 hours to review the year of publications, so I chose to sit at a table with comfy seats. That didnt help much as I still had to sit forward and reach to carefully turn the worn out, crumbling pages. I awoke the two days afterwards with knots in my neck and back and massive headaches. Alas! the price of research! Despite my complaining, I thoroughly enjoyed time of reading the past. In the next day or two I will post a few interest and amusing articles. For now, I'd like to share a few photos of the journal:

There is an extra comfy chair in my little nook. Throughout the two days, people would take the chair for their use and then return it. But, in the final 3 hours of my uninterupted studying, this kid walks up. He pulls the chair closer to the table and sits down to start working. He is so close his shaking leg is kicking the table. Did I tell you how HUGE this book is? Its taking up the entire space- and making a mess as the paper crumbles more with each turn. This kid has the audacity to walk up, pull the chair closer to the table and sit in my study space. He was there for HOURS. It was so awkward. In standing to photograph a page, I'd be all up in his business. It wasnt my fault he sat so close, so I had to just act like I wasnt doing anything wrong. Utterly and immensely frustrating! and by the way, Muldrow was NOT full by any means. I'm not really sure what this was all about- but it was ridiculous!

This is the kid:

This is after he left and pushed his chair back:

Its 2010!!!

So, I understand that we have all lived 29 days of 2010... but I just cant get over this! It is honest-to-God TWO THOUSAND TEN. When I see the date, I am shocked- every single time! I double take- every single time! and I feel old- every single time! I just cant help it. Maybe I never truly thought this year would come. I'm uncertain what I was expecting to happen- an apocalypse, a comet, or an implosion. For now, I will continue to be surprised and to double-take.

In other not-so-depressing news, Brandon's college buddy is in town for the weekend. We have decided to tie him to a chair and make him watch Battlestar Galactica for FOUR STRAIGHT DAYS. He might sneak out tonight while we are sleeping and drive back to Pennsylvania. If I were him, I would. For goodness sakes, who would want to watch BSG?

Jon did bring me coffee from a local roaster in Greencastle, PA. Perhaps I will let him out and not force him into BSG nerdiness. What will we show him of Clemson then?

-Peppino's
-LOST
-Pancho's
-Death Valley
-Goober's
-Stumphouse Tunnel
-Issaqueena Falls
-Yellow Branch exploration
-Greenville Wonderland
-Newry Mill
-The Jocky Lot (if it doesn't close for the ice storms!)
-Rare Elegance for some animal spotting
-play Wii

Any other ideas folks for this kind man who knew to bring me coffee? What are your Clemson "tourist attraction" favorites?

i have neglected you, it is true. perhaps its a good thing i only made month-long resolutions this year. i have been 1. in an emotional overhall and 2. back to work at Muldrow. oh, how I have missed Muldrow. Exciting excepts and photos to follow one more long day of laboring over tiny print and large books. At least the cigarette ads are large so they can convince me with their advertising schemes.

Homemade Christmas Present

Here are some of the various and sundry presents I made this year:

for the little ones:


for Michel and girlfriends in Clemson:


for B's co-workers:


for Sara: (and one for


for Caneva:

just to show a few

365 days later, still wonderful

We had double date night last night with the Breitmeier's. It included this gorgeous sunset, Greenville's tasty Oriental Cuisine, a stroll down main street and treats at Coffee Underground. Oh, good friends and a wonderful husband too. Not too shabby of a "year-post-proposal" night.

my beloved

"For marriage, as simply as it can be defined,
is the contemplation of the Love of God
in and through the form of another human being."
The Mystery of Marriage by Mike Mason

What a Year Can Teach:
January 2009
will you marry me and love me forever?


February
will you love me with this ring?


March
will you love me if i look like this?



April
will you love me if we spend 400 hours making invitations?


May
if i make this face in every photo, will you still love me?


June
if i am sweet, can the honeymoon last forever?


July
will you stay playful and funny?


August
will you dance with me at other's weddings?


September
and if i get older and older, will you always love me?


October
will you take me to faerie villages?


November
will you go with me to hot thanksgivings in Charleston?

December
will our Christmases always be together, from now on?

January 2010
will you be the live-in stranger of my life?

i think so. i love you.

and the winner is....

drum roll drum roll drum roll

SOPHIA!!!

Brandon: yours was too long
Jess: I can only think of Darma and Greg; I want to name a son Angus; and I dont like Finney- it would be too much like fish for a pot.
Catherine: CONGRATS, you WIN!!! I have too many friends named Maria (other friends might get jealous) and I want a Fiona as well. But Sophia, the cookpot of wisdom, will be my perfect inspiration.

thank you for playing.

do you dream in food products?

Yesterday was the first arrival of my new magazine subscription Cooking Light, a generous and thoughtful gift from my Czech in-laws. I am delighted at the sheer volume of recipes offered- my kitchen will be tasty for many months to come! Which makes me want to share a delicious recipe with you. It is not original to me. It is from my inspiration, The Pioneer Woman. The woman makes me wanna go live on a ranch and home-school my children and cook and eat all day long. Anyhow, I dont think she would mind my sharing it here:

Spaghetti with Artichoke Hearts and Tomatoes

2 T EVOO
2 T butter
3 cloves garlic, minced
1/2 medium onion, finely diced
1 14.5 oz can artichoke hearts (whole so ppl can take them out if they desire), drained/ squeezed
1 14.5 oz can diced tomatoes with juice
1 cup heavy cream
1/2 c chicken broth, more as needed
1/2 t nutmeg (do it!)
salt & pepper to taste
1 pound thin spaghetti
1 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese
2 tablespoons chopped chives or other herbs

Cook spaghetti. Drain and set aside. Melt olive oil and butter in a large skillet over medium heat. Add onions and garlic and saute for 2 to 3 minutes. Add artichoke hearts and tomatoes. Stir and cook for 8 to 10 minutes. Reduce heat to low. Stir in cream and chicken broth. Add salt and pepper to taste. Cook over low heat until heated through, then turn off heat.
Place drained pasta in a large bowl. Sprinkle with 1 cup Parmesan. Pour sauce over the top. Add chopped chives (or don't, its up to you). Toss lightly to combine and coat; add a tiny bit of water if sauce seems too thick.

This is not the finished product- this is about halfway through. But I am not showing it to you for that- I am showing you my new Calphalon Chef's Pan. Isn't she beautiful?! I really think my food is more scrumptious because of her. Her name is ______*. Thanks to the parents-in-law for this one! And go Macy's for great sales! *Taking name suggestions in the comments box. :)

this is my favorite spot in the house. this blank wall of white and steel tones. this blending of old and new.
i could stare at it for hours and i believe i would leave it, knowing more about life, wisdom, and the universe.

mine eyes have seen the glory...

i am having a hard time deciding what to write about this morning. perhaps that is because i am freezing.

its MLK day: so there is a topic.
i have a new amazing chef's pan: maybe i could talk about that.
the call for help is still being heard for Haiti: who isn't talking about that (if you aren't, start!).
i finally painted my "dining room table:" i could image that.
i am crafting thoughts around our Paloma discussions on dreams: but they are not solidified yet.
my brother is January sad in Germany: i could dream for him.
quotes are swirling through my head: i could repeat those.
coffee- food or drink?: always a topic in my mind.

i really think i am too scattered this morning to write on one topic. i have been reading a lot of MLK quotes online and been thinking of how freedom and justice are so close to my heart. of how one person can make a difference. which brings me to Haiti. so many wonderful things are going on. there is even a new Etsy group called "Craft Hope for Haiti" at which artists donate their works and send the proceeds to Doctors without Borders. it is beautiful how people give what they can. and (this might seem trite to some of you out there/ maybe even feel like a cop-out) so, as i can give nothing else, i lift up my prayers for the hurting, the hungry, the lonely, and the poor. i believe that real, authentic, honest, raw prayer is more powerful than my finances. The Spirit can bring comfort, love and warmth to those still trapped, those still lost, those who have lost everything. That is my prayer. And I pray it often.

And do not tell me that Martin Luther King did not pray. Or that he did not understand the power of our Lord and the heart of our Savior to bring peace and justice to the world. I don't think he would mind having "his day" be a day in which we lift up Haiti to the God of the Universe and ask for intervention.

i am in love

with these bags. i want them. i want all of them. i can't have them right now, but goodness, arent they incredible! go buy some if you can and enjoy their clever, eco-friendly, useful purposes.

Liquid Precipitation

Yesterday, Brandon made a brief trip to Barefoot Properties to ask them about our rent. If you didn't know, our rental agreement was up on January 31st. Thanks to much prayer and much generosity from Barefoot, we are able to extend our lease on a month-to-month basis. It was as official as Brandon writing on a piece of paper "I want to extend my lease until February 28, 2010." Praise is due to God for providing this for us and thanks to those of you who have been praying for us. To be honest, my feelings, though relieved, are a little mixed. I wonder how long we will be thinking "maybe the end of January," "maybe the end of February," "maybe the end of..."

To rid myself of these sorts of thoughts, I responded to B, "If we are going to be here another month and a half, we should rearrange." Let me tell you, at the other end of that action, I am worn out. For 2 days, B and I have been moving and removing and storing and packing and unpacking and straightening and caty-cornering galore! I'll bet you are thinking, "Surely there isn't that much to do in a 2 bedroom apt!" I am here to say that the smallness of size makes it more difficult because you have a room with multiple purposes rather than a single use. Our second bedroom is now: Video Game Room/ Guest Bedroom/ Exercise Room/ Claire's Dressing Room/ Claire's Office and Craft Room. Our living room is: TV Room/ Dining Room/ Coat Closet/ Sitting Room. I have left our bedroom simple, going off the mantra of Frank Lloyd Wright. Pictures below represent 1. my well-organized craft, sewing, photo station 2. our guest bed/ video game couch 3. my awesome desk 4. Sitting space in living room 5. brandon enjoying the new arrangement 6. our massive bookshelf/ entertainment system. Enjoy the work of our Friday and Saturday!

Today my heart was refreshed... It is my unofficial Heatherwood Reunion Day: first I opened a door to Aileen, second I dined with Trey and Lauren. It was sweet, relaxed, and joyful. Thanks guys- love you!

oh to be radiant!

Psalm 34
4 I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.
5 Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.
6 This poor man called, and the LORD heard him; he saved him out of all his troubles.
7 The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them.
8 Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.
9 Fear the LORD, you his saints, for those who fear him lack nothing.
10 The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.

at Paloma

"Hold fast to dreams,

for if dreams die,

life is a broken-winged bird
that cannot fly."
-Mr. Langston Hughes

At housechurch, this spring, we are going to have some discussion around the topic of hope and dreams. I believe the tag line has become "Are we finding our way to our dreams OR Are we finding God's way to our dreams?" I anticipate that this will be a good time of looking into the Story of God, our Hope above any other hope. We will study the telling of Scripture's Story of Hope to see how that fits in our own lives of dreams. I believe this is a difficult balance to achieve- this pursuit of dreams and passions with this surrendering everything to Christ.

Last night we looked at the story of Sarai: of how, after waiting 76 years, she took her dream/ hope/ longing to have children into her own hands; of how wrong that was; of how, 14 years later, God honored her inspite of her sin and self-propulsion.

And then, we had some time for Kindergarten Crafts (as I like to call it). We each cut up magazines and pasted together a collage of our dreams. It was rather limited, as finding photos of spiritual qualities are near impossible. But each of us created something unique unto us to represent the passions, goals, desires, and distant (or close) longings of our hearts. And then, we pasted it into our Church at Heatherwood/ Church off Main/ Church at Paloma journal which tells the Story of God for the here and the now in these moments of our lives which intersect with DCF and Clemson. And though we strive to hold these dreams loosely, we also cherish them.

And so, my loosely-held, potentially surrendered for the kingdom dream of a home are shown here. My home, seen through Ikea's eyes:


this: but in gray:
and we will have lots and lots of guests