thoughts on contentment and dreamament

its been a while. but ive made a revelation about myself today. part of the reason i am never content is because other people's lives always seem better. always grander and happier and cooler. for example, sometimes when i think about the college experience, i feel robbed. but then, is that just the way everyone feels, or is it just me? and if it is just me, then maybe its because i waited so long to go off to school. isnt the "college experience" supposed to be filled with regret and with laughter? why would i want the regret? what is wrong with me?

i think i have this ideal. it goes something like this: if i only went to FSU i would have been able to live college. i'd have made the stupid mistakes [like failing my first courses cause i didnt go to class each day] and great friends [not that i have not done that here] and studied abroad and gone to prom-like parties in college and had a slough of ridiculous stories.

but i didnt go there. i am in clemson. and really, i love life here. i have great friends and i enjoy most of my classes. i get fall weather here and great football and memories of late night ventures. so i think this is natural to all and that i am not alone. cause my life is not so bad... someone has to envy it, right? at least i hope so...

1 comment:

  1. OK, let's be serious. You go to FSU, you NEVER
    a) go on a three-week road trip where you're called Princess (and worse)
    b) enjoy Christmas with a friend's family and some other friends
    c) see rain forest, beautiful mountain lake, and then nearly skid off of a snowy mountain to your death all in the matter of a few hours,
    d) lie to your other friends and convince them that you slapped a friend, ultimately landing him in jail,
    e) have the most delicious oatmeal pancakes and get to hang out with the incomparable Em in her snug mountain cabin in the snow,
    f) (I can keep going, but you get the idea), ...

    And that's just three weeks. You want me to start the list for the whole 4 years? Really?